We have OFFICIALLY started out Boot Camp Day 1

***WARNING THIS HAS SOME ADULT CONTENT, IF YOU ARE OFFENDED PLEASE DO NOT CONTINUE****

So not too long ago I had this problem with what a lot of HOH's were saying about what they make their wives do, but then I realized what they had is what I wanted. I want him to push my limits, not just spanking my bottom, but also giving me direction that I might not have chosen. I want him to show me a way I wouldn't have dreamed of and most of all I want him to challenge me. I don't mean argue or fight, I mean challenge me to my core. Take the reigns and lead me in a path I wouldn't have chosen for myself. Today was our first official day of our new "CDD Boot Camp". Although he can't be here all the time (he has to work) this will give him the opportunity to give me large and small orders and see how I handle them. He will have to be more "hands on" no doubt but I am willing to do WHATEVER it takes to make this happen.

So I was being insolent and he ordered me to the corner but not like before he told me parade rest. I didn't know what to make of this, he was serious. He had me stand there until I stood perfectly still in that position. It was challenging to say the least and I could hold it no more so I broke bearing. He then ordered me to do push ups, dirty dogs, and something else. I was so tired and this was before I was being punished. After a while he called me to him. I always kneel in front of him when I am being reprimanded or asking forgiveness. He then tapped me on the bottom and sent me on my way.

He wants to do what is called "submission exercises" that help me practice being submissive to him. He will take me in the hall and have me give him oral sex for a time being not all the way just enough to get him aroused and then he will dismiss me. Anal sex has also played a part in this as well, and I submitted to that too. He has me wear dresses (for this period) and no panties while the kids are away playing but it doesn't bother me as much as I thought it would. He also insists now that he shave me twice a month. Another order I thought would be hard. It wasn't and it still isn't. While he has never required me to go out in public without panties, he did say he reserves the right to have me remove them while we are out during this intensified CDD training. Tonight though was one I thought I wouldn't do no matter what. We were making love by the fire and I told him for these 21 days you own me! Totally I will not balk, or even question why you want to do something. I am totally yours. So I asked him where he would like to orgasm? I thought for sure he would say anal, but to my surprise he said, "in your mouth." I was floored and just frantically shook my head, "yes, Sir". That is how I must answer every order he gives, and he said I must swallow. I was a little put off but agreed (like I had a choice) I would be breaking the vow I gave him at the beginning of this. Plus I am afraid if I try to talk him out of anything right now he will shy away from ordering me again. So as we went I asked him if I would be punished if I did not comply, he said, "severely" and I was full of dread. It really wasn't that bad and I hopefully showed him what I am willing to do to be the submissive wife I need to be and in turn hope he will strive to be a wonderful HOH.

What I have learned from this experience is that submission is not real if its on my terms. If I dictate "limits" and what I will and will not submit to its not real. I want it to be real, to be second nature. That is my goal. During this time I have to ask for almost everything, I have limited computer time and detailed lists that are to be approved. He also has a daily chore list to ensure I am completing my chores effectively and can be inspected at any time. he has an eye for detail (was his job in the Navy) so I had better learn to start putting things where they go and get on point. He also awarded me nightly punishment spankings (maybe daily too if I am not careful) until further notice.

So I want a challenge, I want something that changes me little by little until I am grown into the woman I should be. If I could do it alone I wouldn't have asked to be spanked for every sin. Its bigger than me and I need his help. I hope Day 2 is as good or better. I can't wait to see what little surprises he has for me


Mandy