DD Training Week 1

Last week has been hard on us both. I have been feeling rebellion within me and he is finding it hard to address that while he looks for a job but this week we hit a turning point especially for him.

Throughout the week I have tested a little to really push his resolve especially during this transition time and met a brick wall of authority. For example I was assigned specific duty to do while he was gone running an errand but my daughter was fussy and it took me also the whole time to get her down for her nap and I did not complete the task at hand. When he arrived home he looked at me sternly and said drop and give me 20 pushups. My first instinct is for him to give me a smaller amount to start and my stomach sank. I can't do 20 push ups but to my surprise I pumped them out pretty well. Then I waited in the "rest" position for him to allow me up. Then he said 20 crunches, begin. After completing them I waited for my next instruction. Let me just say outside the military the hardest thing for me to submit to is physical exercise as punihsment and I have to know he is 100% serious. Like standing over me with his belt to swat my butt if I dare stop before he says so. I know it may seem unfair to most that I be punished in this way (to expect a spanking later) but in this training phase in the beginning to break someone down to their core it is important to punish like that when they are not entirely to blame. The concept of fairness does not exist at this point. I should try to everything to please my HOH and if I fall short should be disciplined, although spanking is NOT always needed. I trust B not to abuse this power or punish in away that doesn't equal my infraction.

He also introduced a new concept this week PT just because or as he calls it "because I can" this mostly applies to PT (physical training) but he has swatted me a few times "just because". He seems to be focusing on non-spanking discipline because it takes the "fight" out of me really fast and it motivates and energizes me to work harder to please him.

God Bless

MJ